Planning a proposal is very involved. You have to figure out the perfect time and location without letting your partner know. One of the most challenging aspects of planning a proposal is choosing the perfect engagement ring, especially if you don’t already know the ring size.
Buy an engagement ring without knowing your partner’s size by picking an average or larger ring size. Or, you could measure their finger as they sleep, trace or get an imprint of a current ring, ask their family, or get friends to help. Compare their rings to yours. If all else fails, just ask.
This article provides several ways to size your partner’s finger for an engagement ring without giving away the secret.
We asked multiple people how they got the ring size of their partner before proposing. We are sharing some of our favorite answers below.
Here is what we cover:
- How do you get your partner’s ring size without asking them?
- Tips and ideas from couples (how to get a ring without knowing the size)
- How to purchase an engagement ring without knowing your partner’s size?
How To Find Out Someone’s Ring Size Without Asking Them?
If guessing the ring size sounds overwhelming, there are other ways to determine your partner’s exact ring size without having to ask. Knowing the exact ring size is especially important when purchasing rings with stones along the sides or those utilizing pave bands.
Something to keep in mind:
Rings made of titanium, tungsten carbide, or stainless steel are also very challenging to resize. If you’re planning on purchasing one of these types of rings, you’ll need to be precise with the sizing.
The best way to find out someone’s ring size without asking is by measuring their ring finger as they sleep, tracing or getting an impression of a current ring (and sizing it with a jeweler or an online ring sizer), asking a friend or family member, or recruiting an engaged friend to help you out.
Measure the Ring Finger While Your Partner is Sleeping
If your partner tends to sleep heavily, you may get away with sneaking a measurement as they snooze. Locate the correct finger beforehand — the ring finger (in between the pinky and middle finger) on the left hand.
Take a piece of string or thread and gently wrap it around the base of your partner’s finger. Mark the length of the string using a fine-tip marker.
Once you have the measurement marked on the string, take it to a jewelry store to have them determine the ring size.
Alternatively, you can measure it in millimeters and compare it to a ring size chart. This should provide a fairly accurate measurement of your partner’s ring size.
If you are nervous about buying the wrong size ring, it is always best to get a ring slightly larger than your partner’s ring size. Making a ring smaller is much easier than making a ring larger.
Figure Out Ring Size By Utilizing Your Partner’s Current Jewelry
Does your significant other regularly wear rings on their ring finger? If so, you may be able to get their ring size by using one of these rings when your partner removes it.
Once your partner takes off the jewelry, discreetly pick it up and trace it onto a sheet of paper. Trace the inside and outside circumference, and then return it to where you found it.
Take this measurement to the place where you are purchasing the ring.
Alternatively, you can quickly press the ring into a piece of clay, wax, or soap to leave an imprint. Wipe the ring clean to avoid getting caught. Take this impression to your local jeweler to figure out what ring size you need to purchase.
When using this method, ensure that you measure a ring your partner wears on their ring finger. A ring worn on the middle finger, thumb, pinky, or index finger will differ in size from the ring finger.
Also, if you’re using a ring that your partner wears on their right finger, keep in mind that fingers on the dominant hand tend to be larger than those on the other hand. Use this knowledge to better choose the right sizing.
Ask a Friend or Family Member
Another option for figuring out your partner’s ring size is asking around. Your partner’s family and friends might already know their ring size. If not, they could find out for you — just ensure they know how to keep things discreet before enlisting their help.
Start with your partner’s parents, if they’re available. Your partner’s mom might already have an idea of her child’s ring size and can pass along the information. If not, she’s a good candidate for asking about your partner’s ring size without being obvious why.
If asking your partner’s parents isn’t an option, turn to their friends — especially long-term friends. If any of them are currently planning a wedding, they could involve your partner in ring discussions, casually bringing up ring sizes during the planning process.
Tips and Tricks From Other Couples
We talked with some couples and asked them how they were able to get an engagement ring without knowing their partner’s ring size (or how they got the correct size without the other person knowing).
Here are some of the tips and tricks that they used:
“My husband used a small strip of paper to measure my finger while I sleeping. My engagement ring fit perfectly. I still can’t believe he pulled it off, lol!”
“Take a different ring of hers (one that she wears on her ring finger) and put it on your little finger as far as it will comfortably go. Make a pen mark around your finger at the bottom of the ring. Go to your jeweler and have him measure your finger where the mark is. This is what my jeweler told me to do.”
“My husband asked my mom and sister to play detective. They took a ring I don’t wear very often to a jewelry store to get the size.”
“I used a piece of string to measure my wife’s finger while she was sleeping. It worked, but I was really nervous that she was going to wake up. So I don’t recommend trying this if your partner is a light sleeper.”
“I wanted to pick out my own ring, and so did my husband. We went down together and got measured. I picked out the ring that I loved most.”
“My husband proposed with a ring pop! He knew that I was very picky about jewelry. So he was able to keep the proposal a secret, and I got to shop for a ring. I loved it!”
How To Choose A Ring Size Without Measuring?
Get a ring size without measuring by comparing the person’s current ring to your finger. Or subtly ask the person. Bring the topic up in casual conversation. If all else fails, be blunt and ask. The first method leaves room for error, while the others guarantee an answer but may ruin the surprise.
If you want to figure out your partner’s ring size without measuring, you can make a decent guess by comparing their ring to your finger, or you could always just ask.
Compare Their Ring to Your Finger
Try sliding your partner’s ring onto your finger to see how it compares in size. Mark on your finger where the ring sits without being able to push it back any further. If it’s too big, use a thread or string to measure the gap at the base. After measuring the gap, add it to your current ring circumference. Take this information to your jeweler so they can help you determine the best size.
Keep in mind, however, that while the base of the finger may measure at one size, the knuckle sometimes plays a role, especially if they’re large. This is an important consideration for getting a ring that’s comfortable to slide on.
Ask Them Flat Out
When all other methods fail, it’s probably time to come out and ask your partner straight up. If you’ve been together long enough and the two of you have regularly discussed the possibility of getting married, the question shouldn’t come as a shock.
While the question may ruin the element of surprise if your partner wasn’t expecting you to pop the question, it can’t ruin the magic of the engagement day. After all, you can still plan a magical, elaborate proposal without letting your partner know the exact day or time.
How To Get an Engagement Ring Without Knowing Your Partner’s Size?
So, you’re ready to pop the question — but there’s one problem. You don’t know your partner’s ring size! Fortunately, there are ways to get an engagement ring without knowing your partner’s exact size.
The simplest way to purchase an engagement ring for your partner without knowing their ring size is by selecting the average ring size or choosing a larger size. When opting for a larger size, you can easily have it resized later, if necessary.
Choosing a Ring Size Based on Averages
Opting for the average ring size brings you one step closer to selecting an engagement ring that fits your partner. With that said, everyone differs in shape, size, and bone structure. Also, some people prefer different fits — one person might favor a tight-fitting ring, whereas another may go for a loose fit.
Also, humans tend to have slightly larger fingers on their dominant hand, so keep that in mind when looking for the ideal engagement ring.
What Is the Average Ring Size for a Woman?
The average American woman has a ring size measuring between sizes 5 and 7. A size 5 ring measures 15.6 millimeters, a size 6 is 16 millimeters, and a size 7 is 17.3 millimeters. There are half and quarter-sizes as well, so keep that in mind when determining a ring size.
In America, the average woman stands around 5’4” – 5’5” (162.5 cm) and weighs approximately 150-170 pounds (77 kg). Why does this matter? Well, if you consider the average woman’s body structure and compare it to the average ring size, you get a pretty good starting point when guessing what size ring to purchase for the woman in your life.
From there, you can make an educated guess that most women of this height and weight fall between ring sizes 5 to 7. If the woman in your life is shorter, taller, thinner, or heavier, keep that in mind and size up or down accordingly.
What Is the Average Ring Size for a Man?
The average ring size for a man is a size 9. This ring size measures 19 millimeters. The average man weighs around 185-200 pounds and stands around 5 feet, 9 inches (175 cm). With this information, you can assume that an average-sized male has an average-sized ring finger.
Opt for a Larger Ring Size
After determining an average ring size that you feel should work for your significant other, consider sizing up at least by at least a ½ size.
Going with the larger option makes it less hassle to resize the ring later, if necessary. Making a ring smaller requires less work and is less costly than sizing up. Sizing up may require the addition of gold or jewels, increasing the price.
If you’re worried about the ring being too big, pick up a pack of ring guards before you propose. That way, if the ring is too big, your partner can still wear it and prevent it from falling off until you’re able to have it resized.
More Wedding Planning Tips and Ideas
Here are a few more engagement-related articles that you might find helpful after getting engaged: